Oh this is going to be such an exciting week with no cranky episodes. So maybe also a boring week for all those reading this. Well, this is what I promised myself because this is SCAN WEEK!!! After Mr. Cranky’s crank fest last week we promised each other to be less moody and maintain more of a “shake our booty” vibe. [Mr. C: We literally got down and dirty on the dance floor, aka, the kitchen]. Well, let’s just see how this week ends.
So it turns out this week is really week 13 and not 12 because we have been issued a new due date by the midwives! The week also ended up with only ONE real cranky moment so surely that counts as keeping the promise?! Due to Covid Mr. C is only allowed into the first of my many hospital appointments (for the first ultrasound scan) but anything can change – “there is a road map out of this,” we keep hearing but at this point I’m not really seeing this.
We drove to the hospital, both of us nervous and feeling the butterflies. The dread that something could be wrong was in the back of our minds but not said aloud as we tried to remain calm, positive and upbeat. There are so many horror stories out there and you don’t want to be one of them. But of course anything is possible and we know that. To help us stop thinking about all of the endless possibilities of what could go wrong we put on our favourite play list and sang to babka (more like screech and wail as I am not so musically inclined).
By the time we had walked into the hospital we were smiling and the nerves had subsided a little. We were called in and as the cold jelly was being applied I realised I shouldn’t have worn mascara.
There Babka was, shown to us curled up while having a good nap. Lots of tears started streaming down my face. It feels different seeing in black and white that Babka is real (and I am not just bloated). The blissful (and cantankerous) pregnancy cloud I have been on became a reality the minute I saw Babka. Oh my. I will be a mother soon, eeeek! Mr. Cranky got misty eyed but was more intrigued to see Babka’s brain inside my belly. [Mr. C: Modern technology never ceases to amaze me – to see clear details of structures inside of my child, INSIDE my future wife. WHOA.] Babka even decided to show off mid-scan and move around and stretch out. I have a dancer in my belly and, oh my goodness, it looks like a big baby! Or maybe that’s just what all scans make you believe.
We left the exam room on a high and with pictures in tow. Mr. Cranky then had to go and wait in the car for almost an hour because he was no longer allowed to be in the hospital while I had to wait and do a blood test. I think that this is where the cracks in my defences truly started to appear. While waiting in the hospital the reality hit that Mr. Cranky won’t be allowed to be holding my hand for many of these monumental moments.
By the time I got to the car I needed food and needed it DESPERATELY. That’s when we both realised that we forgot our pre-prepared snacks at home. I blamed him and he blamed me for not taking responsibility and the cranky cracks broke open. Our journey home was an
interesting one – there were grumbles, tears, “discussions” and also pure joy and excitement. Lesson learnt: never ever forget snacks at home – I mean NEVER.
It was a really good week I think – we got to have that movie moment and take home our own black and white 3 x 4 inch blur. In reality I was totally fascinated by the clarity and real-time nature of the ultrasound scan – it really did drive home the fact we created life. It amazes me that there is still so much we don’t fully know, like the brain! For example even though we can clearly see all of the structures of the brain forming – google and the Oxford journal “Human Reproduction” informs me its the diencephalon, mesencephalon and telencephalon at this stage of development [Miss. Cranky I believe Mr C. is showing off with these words as he knows I can’t pronounce them and I am now googling them] . We still don’t fully understand all the signals, triggers and genes involved, all the steps that drive the organisation of the cells that rapidly come together to create one of us. I think I missed a calling as a scientist. Well, at least now there’s a chance that our little Babka can take up the mantle! And maybe they’ll be better than their mother at carrying a tune…