Week 7 – Cranks, Naps and Gas.

by Miss Cranky
messy hair and gas I don't care
Miss. Cranky:

I use to pride myself on my hair and now all day long I have nap hair. Nap hair so matted and knotted that when I saw my reflection in a shop window I had to do a double take. Also this week I learnt about gas but I will get to that later. I can now nap anytime and almost anywhere. Let ,e tell you, the last time I took a nap was during university lectures almost 20 years ago! Oh, and by the way I don’t wake up refreshed full of energy, vitality and gusto so that I can take over the world. No, I wake up cranky knowing half my to-do list will never get done and will end up on tomorrow’s to-do list and let’s face it. I will never be as productive as I was before I got pregnant.

I am taking every day as it comes and learning new things about myself physically and mentally. One thing I never knew to expect during pregnancy is the bloat. I got so excited this week as I thought I had a baby bump only to be told it was just gas. It was, in fact, a full kilo-worth of gas (I weighed myself) and we all know the only way gas can be released. What I have learnt in the last 7 weeks of pregnancy is that there should be a disclaimer that all of us who are expecting get a pass go, get out of free card for what the bloat does. They have it on cigarettes packets about how bad smoking is for your health. I think pregnancy should also come with a warning for some. “Stand near me at your own risk.”

Due to Covid there is the 2 metre rule which I have to admit has saved me a few times from what could have been extremely embarrassing moments. Not every woman will feel the bloat, the gas, the oh my goodness I didn’t know my body was capable of producing these smells and noises. And for those that do not have these symptoms I am so jealous, so very jealous, as I have felt like I have lost all of my dignity as now everything has been shared and smelt by Mr. Cranky. I was even considering getting him a gas mask and seeing we are living in Covid times I am sure no one would have looked at him twice. But unfortunately for me Amazon has run out of them.

One thing that doesn’t help the cranks and the fears is the constant news watching I found myself doing lately. This week there have been many news articles and widely shared talking points about the dreaded M word, miscarriage, and how it should no longer be taboo (to which I totally agree). My heart goes out to all those who have suffered and anyone going through the grieving process.

However, as I am early on in my pregnancy, I have decided for my own sake to limit news to a few minutes in the morning and then an evening catch up. I need to protect myself from the dread and anxiety which the daily news cycle can cause. It is important to stay informed, and in this case, know the facts surrounding miscarriage. For me to remain mentally resilient especially when physically I feel exhausted, nauseous and cranky. I need to carry on finding humour and see the light side as it is far too easy, especially with all the Covid statistics, to go towards the “dark side”. (I think I have been watching too many Star Wars movies – thanks Mr. Cranky) [Mr. Cranky: I have NEVER seen someone so enthralled with 1970’s sci fi drama as Miss Cranky – white knuckled thrills! You’re welcome Miss Cranky]. Whatever works for you is what you need to do. This week there has been much learning about myself [Mr. Cranky: and how you smell on the inside] and in the breaks between the cranks, there was lots of sleep.

Mr. Cranky:

This week I learned the true meaning of love. The sacrifices I have endured have surprised me – the burned nose hairs, the lingering taste in my throat each evening as I lay my head to rest and apprehension at taking my next breath. [Miss Cranky: Now you all know why I have no dignity left! Reading this has made me cringe, maybe there is such thing as oversharing in blogs] I have learned really to love someone, both inside and out, to smile and laugh and to remind myself, that however bad it smells, it cannot actually kill me.